Nope.

Don’t get me wrong, I love metal. 

Really, I do. It’s not one of those “I’m not racist but…” type of things.

I grew up on the stuff. It’s got a huge place in my heart, and its what really got me into music when I was in like 7th grade. 

From Mastodon to Sabbath, from Rammstein to Lamb of God, from Maiden to Dethklok, I love metal. Prog metal is pretty much all I listened to my sophomore year. Rush, Dream Theater, Porcupine Tree, Tool, etc etc.

It may not be my #1 favorite genre, but it’s definitely something I listen to frequently. I probably listen to Metal more frequently than Punk at this stage in my life, which is probably shocking to people. 

But there is something I just CANNOT stand about Metal. 

The fucking egos and arrogance. Really, the numbers unheard of anywhere else that I’ve seen. I’m not saying I’m perfect, or not judgemental, and I’m definitely egotistical at times. But a lot of these people I’ve been seeing around lately really take the cake. It’s mostly the players, too. Everyone has this, “Look how fucking great I am, everything is so technical, look at me!” stereotype going on. It’s leading to a huge abundance of bands that sound the fucking same, too. 

I’m feeling like metal bands aren’t trying to tred on any new ground either. Nor do i feel they’re making music to push boundaries, or to express themselves. It’s a cock measuring contest of skill. It also seems like a lot of metal fans don’t even give other genres a chance, other than rap and reggae for some reason. Pink Floyd seems common for them too. Maybe even some uber technical experimental artist like Zappa or something, but it’s going back to my main point.

It just really alienates me from being an outspoken and devoted metal fan. I guess a lot of genres are probably the same. Perhaps it’s just the huge amount of local metal that’s getting to me. I don’t care if I ever impress anyone. I think everyone should pick up an instrument and play. I feel like they discourage it. I know they discouraged me when I started to play drums, thats for sure.

I want to like My Bloody Valentine, Tom Waits, The Ramones, Nirvana and Neutral Milk Hotel as well as Meshugga, The Faceless, and Pantera; and to have no one question it. 

K BABELFEST IS DONE.

I just wanted ONE thing after the show last night. OF COURSE it doesn’t happen. And I don’t even mean sex. I waited allllll fuckin’ day and then NOPE. 

I can’t forget about this damn tumblr thing. I’m so glad I can just ramble somewhere. Because it’s much easier for me than keeping it in.

Despite how nice my life is right now, I feel like its at a standstill. Not that I care very much. That’s summer for me. Just a huge blur of heat and days blending into eachother. It’s nice to share my summer with someone. AND I DON’T JUST MEAN STEVEN DUNN THIS TIME. Today was 106 degrees and Work made me want to kill myself. So. Fucking. Hot. Holy dicktits. 

But I layed on the grass outside my house on a towel at 4AM before work and it was lovely. I haven’t done that in like a year.

I’m getting a new guitar and I’m super fucking excited. New tonal variations to explore, and I can use it at our next gig! Our last gig was fucking epic. We had a big crowd, despite the fact that we played at 1AM and I had to fucking drum because spange is a weenie. It felt great to play infront of so many people, and they all seemed to enjoy it.

We’re gonna release a new EP in a few months. It’s gonna be 3 covers and an Original. We’re also writing a full length album. 

I don’t expect this to go anywhere, but I want to see the ideas and sounds in my head appear physically. It’s going to be so different from our first EP.

It’s the people that have totally fucked me up/over that I’m thankful for. I wouldn’t strive nearly as hard as I do if it wasn’t for them. 

But in all seriousness, I’m feeling super good about life right now. Well, maybe not about life, but I’m definitely feeling way happier in general. Trying to make my future possible.

Figuring out my AA, Working more, losing weight, saving up a little money, got a girlfriend who fucking kicks ass, EP is finally 100% done, we’re gonna be playing shows soon, keeping up vegetarianism (I’ll more than likely break eventually), side project with a punk band, learning to drive even though I hate it, etc etc. 

I wish life would slow the FUCK down, but I guess everyone does. Moi poppy says that life gets faster and faster as you get older. So FUCK getting old. 

I just want to freeze time on earth and take a few people with me, into some sort of perpetual dimension with no humans to inhabit it. In said dimension, the earth is completely abandoned except for me and a few people, yet everything continues to function completely normal (like food wont go bad, water keeps running and functioning, electricity works, weather chages, etc). We wouldn’t get old or grow at all. There’d be a couple cars, boats, and unlimited fuel in all the vehicles. We could just lay around or go travel the fucking world. We could leave whenever we wanted in case we wanted to go back to normal, too. It’s such a pathetically childish idea, and hilariously impossible. But I guess that’s why it’s a fantasy eh? 

Perhaps I should spend less time dreaming or thinking of ideas/scenarios and just focus on living. Then again, imagination is always given up for reality. Maybe thats why we live in such a shithole, because everyone feels the need to forget their dreams or crazy-absurd ideas and “grow up”. It’s like, fuck you, mate.

I think if there is a heaven, everyone gets in and it’s whatever you want it to be. It’d be different for everyone. So at least I know what to expect. 

/end being a weenie.

This week has made me realize a LOT about my social situation, and how my generation works.

I wish I could have been born anywhere else, at literally any other time period. 

I’m actually pretty happy at the moment. 

Our EP is finished, and It’s really awesome I found someone who likes me so much.

AND it’s rainy! :D 

When people disappoint me. I’m fed up.